Simple Ways to Improve Everyday

Feel free to skip half way down to get to the intended content - stuff to help make your day more enjoyable and life a little brighter.  

Some History

I have struggled with depression since I was in elementary school.   I am a functioning adult; I go to work, I have two kids, there is food in my kitchen, I pay my bills, my house is clean...relatively.  Full disclosure: I do not and never have separated my whites from my colors.  Many people are surprised if they find out that I, a "normal" suffers from depression.  I'm not really sure how I keep it separated, but I must have learned young.

Many days I am convinced nothing will ever improve.  I cried miserably every day at 6- at least once. I remember loathing myself at 8.  I started physically harming myself in middle school, I've have had suicidal thoughts on and off since 12.

Depression  has been a silent companion.  Heavy and predictable.

During my last pregnancy I had a few challenges. I've been anxious before, but I experienced anxiety in an intensely horrifying way.  I would lose control of my emotions, of my actions, of my words.

A couple weeks before the baby was born my husband moved out.  I was terrified of having a stroke, of going into labor while alone with my 4 year old, of living alone.  I would start to worry and obsess, then lose control of all rational thought.  With rational thoughts leaving the party you can bet rational actions we're right there with them.

Anyhow, fast forward to now.  I have a 4 year old who shows no jealousy and a whole lot of empathy, and a 4 month old whose general mood is better than any baby's mood has a right to be.

I have adapted fairly well.  Like I said, my house is clean... relatively.  The kids are fed and wearing clean clothes... although currently the 4 year old has a beard comprised of green hopefully-not-permanent-marker scribble.  Childcare is a little more than half of what I bring home a month.  Prior to 6 months ago there was no need for daycare, I didn't foresee how large an impact it would have financially.  There are also other stresses that have to do with work, raising two little ones and maintaining a home, a challenging relationship with my husband, and with family and friends knowing my situation as well has having opinions on it- which obviously they are allowed to have them.        

(Sidebar: I talk a lot.  About a lot of things.  A lot of the time.  I am comfortable talking about all sorts of things, and I think people just assume I'm an open book. 

As I mentioned above, many people are surprised if they find out I have a long, consistent history of depression.  Not only do I not talk about certain things, but I tend to not even notice me thinking them- never mind working through them.  I've been asked why I was crying the previous day, and I think, "I was crying?"  I'm not saying it is healthy, but it probably has a good deal to do with how I've kept it "under the radar.")

In spite of surviving, and maybe even appearing as thriving, I still get anxious and spend a fair amount of time with a pessimistic mindset.

What you allow is what will continue.

Original intended content before I decided to include a history 

I am a firm believer that we are responsible for our own actions and what happens in our life.  Ultimately, we are responsible for our own happiness.  I believe that to a large extent we have control over our thought patterns.  I haven't studied it, but I tend to have pretty good instincts.  If we allow ourselves to feel anxious or hateful it's easy for it to become a norm.  I've used a metaphor:  It's a lot easier to redirect the flow of a smaller stream than to redirect the Colorado River.  The Grand Canyon isn't going to move easily.  This implies that at some point it's too late- or near impossible.  

Every couple of years I write out a list of things that make me happy.  I encourage you to make your own list of things you love and make you happy.  I don't know why I started doing it. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised by finding past lists.  I am lucky that even though I can be so sad, I can also be so easily delighted.  Little things make me smile. Medium things excite me.  Big things consume me.

She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad.  And that's important, you know. -Marilyn Monroe

I have been consistently crankier.  It could be hormones, and it definitely has something to do with my current circumstances.  I don't want to be impatient and critical, easily agitated.  I don't like me when I'm like that.  And I'm like that because I'm already unhappy- it's a cruel cycle.  

I've devised a plan of attack.  Actively add little things from the list  to daily life to improve perspective.  I am diverting the stream of my persistent antagonistic mood before it becomes my standard attitude.

Some Examples Of How I Improve Everyday

 I love quotes.  I cannot tell you how much. My Pinterest is littered with them. Point is, other peoples' words inspire me.  So I use them.   I write them on my mirrors and windows with dry erase markers, I tack them up at work, write them on my calendar, leave one in my wallet, set the desk top back ground, you get the picture.  

Things that inspire me or to remind me of things I need to "hear." (like to the right)   I have hangings from when I saw the Dalai Lama in places where I may need certain messages.  

By the way, the Dalai Lama is on the list of things that I love/make me happy.  Seeing him speak was amazing.  Looking at his picture right now is making me happy. 

I love reading.  When I've had enough of reality fiction is the place for me! 

I love bubbles.  I can't explain it.  They make me giddy. I think I'm going to start carrying some with me.... for the kids...

The Beatles.  The Fab Four.  In high school it was Rubber Soul and Revolver.  Now I really enjoy their older stuff, recordings from before they had records.  When people used to share songs.  I Wanna Hold Your Hand in German.  Their first 4 albums and Abby Road.  I know this can't be original, but if I had a daughter my first pregnancy I wanted to name her Abby Rose.  I've loved them since middle school.  Sometimes I listen to their entire discography in a day.  Everyone needs happy music.

Sometimes I listen to Mantras and/or Tibetan throat singing.  I also have mala beads for when I want to chant my own mantra.  I could go into the benefits, but I'll save that for another time.

 I love being outside.  Even sitting on the porch really soothes me.   I love walking in the woods. (Not to be confused with running- never running.)  I love watching storms, the smell of electricity in the air.  I love how quiet it is after it snows. I can't always go outside, but my mental health is much improved when I get regular outside time.

I love the rain.  I currently have sky lights, so it sounds so neat.  I like the feeling of a rainy day and being cooped up inside- as long as it isn't the 15th rainy day I'm feeling.  And when it's warmer I love being in the rain.

I'm a bit of a dork.  It's okay, I'm completely comfortable with that.  I love Doctor Who. ♥♥  I got the cookie jar for my birthday a couple years ago.  I keep it at work- most people don't even know what it is.  Their loss.  When I'm having an especially rough day I open the lid, and the sound of the Tardis makes me smile.  

I also have an awesome sticker play set with Doctor Who and Disney Princesses for when things are really harry.  I'll have to get a picture.

I even indulged in a couple of nerdy female t-shirts.  I'm happier when I wear them.  I wear them on days I have extra chores or errands.

I have always loved purple pens.  It's my favorite color to write in.  It doesn't matter what I'm writing- it can be a shopping list or a message from my voice mail at work- it's better if it's written with a purple pen.  I haven't had a purple pen since high school 10 years ago.  A few weeks ago I got a purple pen.  I love it.

Coffee.  There is definitely something delightful of having my coffee from MY mug.  This can backfire, if someone heartless has gotten to my mug first.  Now I have a back up. 

I love water.  There isn't time for baths or swimming in the tropics these days, but a hot shower does wonders!  

I like making things.  I have gotten into jewelry making, crocheting, drawing, scrap booking, and tons of other things.  Even coloring.  Who doesn't like coloring.  (If you don't please realize that was rhetorical.)  Now I get to create and do fun projects with the kids, too.

Being creative really lets me use the part of my brain I'm forever trying to put away.  

Most recently I started a project to provide homeless with backpacks filled with necessities. My current goal is 150 backpacks, to pass them out in a city, and record it to inspire others.  Check it out at The Positivity Project.

I'm going to try to start making this list a few times a year.  I'm going to start doing to same with goals, or things I'd like to get out of life.  Practicing more Reiki, Tai Chi and Qi Gong will improve so many things.  And there is a lot I want to learn, see and accomplish.  If it's on the list for 2 years maybe I'll realize it's time to do something about it.

This is way lengthier and took way longer than I thought it would.  I hope there is something here that can either help you make mundane days a little more enjoyable, or allow you to help make someone else's day better.